Starting All Over Again - Heartwrecking Thing

Starting over again is one of the toughest things a person can be asked to do. But most of us, at one point in our lives, are forced to do exactly that. Whether you're reeling from the loss of a loved one, the estrangement of a partner, or the severance from a job, taking control of your new circumstances is an important part of turning around your life. Here are some tips on how to do exactly that.

1. Distract yourself. Maybe you're going through a lengthy divorce that's stressful and saps the energy right from you. Or maybe you've simply split with the person you loved. Whatever it is, dwelling on your loss is a recipe for disaster. Your mind is a beautiful tool, but when it dwells on the past it keeps you from enjoying the present. The object isn't to destroy the past — that would be irresponsible — but rather to put the past away until we're healthy enough to deal with what happened.

• Lean on your friends and family. Your friends, especially, are a great distraction. Maybe schedule an ice-cream and movie night with your girlfriends, where you watch crummy (but awesome, really) movies with the people who understand you best. Or go out camping with your best buds, where you fish and grill your catch over an open fire (kudos to you if you start it without matches!). Whatever you choose to do, involve your friends. They will help you remember that there is more to life than one person.
• Remove from sight all reminders of the love you lost. You don't have to burn all the pictures of your ex-spouse or former love, but you probably should put them away into safe-keeping. Again, the purpose isn't to deny that the other person existed; it's to keep them out of sight and out of mind until you're in a safe enough place emotionally to deal with the fact maturely and responsibly.
• It's okay to get away, for a while. If you feel like all of your memories of your former life are tied to one place, consider taking a short vacation. Go someplace that you've always wanted to go but never had the chance to visit: maybe India, maybe Europe, maybe somewhere nearby that still feels foreign. This is about you, so don't be afraid to treat yourself a little. Being in a new place will keep away memories of your former love, at least for a while, and you'll be able to indulge your curiosity like you're a kid in a candy shop. Plan on going back home after at most a month.

2. Understand what went wrong. Hopefully, you still want put yourself out there and eventually find someone you deeply and genuinely connect with. In order to do this, acknowledge that you might need to fix a few things about your habits, your personality, and your reactions. None of us are perfect, but the ones who succeed in relationships are capable of making adjustments when they need to.

• Consider talking to a relationship expert or psychologist. Relationship experts understand what makes relationships work and what dooms them to die. Talking with a professional will help you understand the aspects of your former relationship that you'll need to change moving forward.
• Write a letter or email to your ex asking for feedback. Don't be confrontational, or blame them for the failed relationship, whatever you do. Your goal here isn't to settle the score, it's to understand what went wrong. Tell them you're trying to improve as a human being, and want honest feedback from someone who knows you well. Ask him or her politely to list any of the things they believe seriously hurt the relationship, and what you might have done differently in a perfect world. Take the things they say to heart; they're not trying to hurt you, even if it seems that way. A nice, well-meaning letter can go a long way toward healing your relationship with the person. Even if it only means you stay on friendly terms, it's a huge step in the right direction.
• Forgive yourself and forgive your ex. Separating from someone you love dearly can leave you feeling a lot of things. Don't only blame the other person for what went wrong: the blame-game is a two-way street. Instead of letting that guilt or that resentment fester inside, let go of it. Blame will only make you a bitter person; if you work to fix the problems you had in the past relationship, there's no reason to feel guilty. Try to leave all that ill-will behind, so that the next time you fall in love, you'll give your lover all the trust they deserve and all the confidence you have.

3.  Slowly put yourself out there again. Dating after a breakup is a lot like getting back into the job market: if you wait too long in between engagements, people will start wondering if there's something wrong with you (even if it's a totally ridiculous suspicion). It's okay to mourn the loss of a loved one, but the longer you keep yourself away from other people, the harder it'll be to get back on the train when it starts moving again.

• Ask your friends to set you up. Your friends are great judges of your character. They know what makes you click and what makes you fume. Asking them to set you up with someone could turn out beneficial. You both know the same person or group of people, which means you're more likely than not to get along. Just don't blame your friends if you two don't hit it off; your friends meant well, and couldn't know whether or not you'd click. Go into the date, however, optimistic that you deserve love in life and excited about meeting a new person.
• Try internet dating. The internet has revolutionized the way we interact and connect with people in the 21st century. Internet dating is low-stress and high-reward; you get to choose the people you want to message without embarrassing the people you want to stay away from. If you do decide to give internet dating a whirl, make sure to fill out your profile in an honest fashion. That means putting up an accurate (but flattering!) picture and being forthright about your likes and dislikes. You wouldn't want to go to a date with someone and find out they're totally different from what their profile suggests, so why do that to another person?
• It's okay to test the waters, as long as you're honest. Okay, so maybe you don't want anything committed right now, seeing as how you just stepped out of a serious relationship. It's okay to get into low-commitment relationships, just as long as the other person knows that's what is happening. Maybe you shouldn't tell them about your other relationship right away, but tell them — before things get intimate — that you're not looking for a committed relationship. This will help both parties: it'll attract the right type of people to you, and spare the other person the heartbreak that you so recently felt.

20 Trouble Signs - You Love Him/Her More Than He/She Loves You

When you love someone so much more than they love you, you set the stage for that person to reject you. It's like putting pressure on someone to eat even though he or she is not hungry, and then resenting his or her inability to respond enthusiastically.

Here are some signs that you've crossed the line between "loving" to "loving too much".

1. You felt empty and unloved before you met him or her, but now you feel even emptier and insecure.

2. You want to talk to him or her every few hours/see him or her every few days but unlike you, he or she is able to go for long periods of time without talking to you or seeing you -- and it doesn't seem to bother him or her.

3. Your thoughts and feelings keep bouncing from "he or she loves me so much" to "it's all over, he/she is not going to call."

4. Much of your day is consumed thinking of this special person and developing strategies of what you'll say or do (and when) to make him/her see that you are meant for each other etc.

5. He or she seems extraordinarily independent and this is driving you nuts. He or she even makes you feel you could have sex with someone else and it wouldn't matter.

6.  One moment you find yourself unable to refrain yourself from telling him or her that he or she is unfair, selfish, insensitive, unmotivated, unpolished, boorish, depressed etc. and the next moment you are professing your love and desire for a committed relationship.

7. You live for his or her love -- and in moments of insecurity you try to squeeze out some words or actions that reassure you that he or she loves you and is there to stay -- although deep inside you know that putting pressure on him or her is the worst thing to do.

8. You feel like you are getting mixed signals from him or her (you probably are). One moment he or she is open and wants to be close and the next, his or her words and actions seem to say "I need my space' or "leave me alone".

9.  You're are trying so badly to please him or her, and do things to show him or her that you are deeply in love, and in the process losing your spontaneity and "in the moment" demeanor to the point that you are becoming increasingly "too serious' and "overly sensitive'.

10. You want to (and actually do) talk about the relationship more than he or she wants to. And many of your talks about the relationship leave you feeling more insecure, unlovable and second-rate.

11. There is another man or woman in the picture -- and your man or woman can't seem to get him or herself to end the relationship with that other man or woman.  You can see that he or she is genuinely conflicted because he or she loves the other person too -- or more!

12. Your assessment of where the relationship is at is different from his or hers -- and when you point this out, he or she says you are making him or her feel pressured for something he or she can't give or isn't ready for.

13. His or her life -- professional and social -- seems so full that there is not much room for you.  Try as you do to get in, you always feel like the "outsider" and he or she is not doing much to include you.

14. The last time you tried to back away a little to gain more perspective on the relationship, you couldn't even pull that one through. You got so scared that a little distance might end the relationship completely.

15. You have sex with him or her because you think that that's what he or she wants,  You hope and pray that the closeness of sex will bring the two of closer to each other -- but it only makes you feel used.

16. You are constantly rationalizing the negatives and straining to believe him or her, even when what he or she is saying defies simple common sense.

17. You are obsessed with trying to interpret, understand and clarify his or her every word and action.  You are constantly searching for internet articles, asking friends and even strangers what they think -- does he or she love me or not?

18. He or she is in total control his or her feelings and of the relationship.  You are the powerless clinger.

19. Your anxiety is on the high end -- you are really afraid that this relationship might end (and expecting it to) anytime really soon.

20. There is a part of you that just wants to end it all -- actually wants him or her to leave so that you can regain your lost power (feel normal again), yet you are frightened of that prospect too.

Loving too much is a relationship-killer!

Loving somebody so much more than they love you is the reason why many relationships end suddenly, abruptly and pain.  You are left feeling shocked, betrayed and deeply hurt.

Interestingly, most men and women end the relationship with you, not because they no longer love you but because your compulsive "too much loving" is often experienced by the other person as engulfment, pressure and control -- IT IS.

And it's a big turn off!

Lessons in Life

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. The same goes for true love.

I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many years you have lived.
 
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned that the people you care about most in life are sometimes taken from you too soon

Love : For All Eternity

There was a Boy and a Girl,

They were best friends for years and years,

They could Talk for hours on the Phone and text each other for days,

When They were Together;

Not a single Sad Thought could cross their Minds,

everything was Great, But One Day;

The Boy did not Answer any Call or Reply to any Text for a Day,

The Girl was worried that something was Wrong..

at night She couldn’t Sleep.., She was sitting in her Room Crying,

and It was then that She Realized how much He Means to Her..?

The next Morning;

She woke Up from a Phone call.., It was the Boy..:)

Boy : Hey..,

Girl : I am so glad that you Called Me, What happened to you yesterday ??

Boy : I was Busy

[ The GIRL Understood that;

Something was Wrong but could not Ask]

[silence]

Boy : You know..; We should Stop talking..!

Girl: What??.., But Why ??

Boy: I am Sorry, Bye..!

[He Disconnected the call, and She Felt as If Somebody

had Slammed the door on Her face]

Everything else Flashed in Her Mind,

Tears :

Cars running by Her..

Roof of some building..and Sunset..

She couldn’t understand anything..

She started Feeling Lonely, rejected, and broken..:’(

That was the answer to everything! His words were pouncing on her..

Her heart wanted to jump out!

He was the One..! “Why..??”

She Screamed at the Top of her Voice;

Then She made up Her Mind to make a last Try to get Him Back..!

[She called Him Up]

Girl: hi…

Boy: Why are you calling Me?

Girl: I need to tell you Something..

Boy: Go Ahead.

Girl: I Just Wanted You to know one thing before we stopped talking!

Boy: Tell me..!

Girl: Are you All right?

[She broke off..!

She tried but may be he doesn't really Care about Her,

She Thought!

She wasn't His friend in the first Place...

Tears were slowly running Worst :'(

She left the House with a Note..!

[5 hours later]

Phone Rang in the Boy’s Room,

It was the Girl’s Mum,

The girl was lying in the hospital, Got hit by a Car, :’(

The Boy rushed to the Hospital where She was.

She Opened Her Eyes with the Boy’s name..,

He took her Hand..

Boy: I am so Sorry Its all my fault..! But;

I promise when U get better I’ll make It up to You..:(

Girl: I wont get Better..

Boy: No..! No Don’t say that..:(

Girl: just tell me one thing Why did you do it?

Boy told her that He had a Heart problem ‘n

he did not want her to be worried;

‘n there was a risk that he could have Died..!

Boy: I did that because I…..I…..I Love you..?

Girl : I LOVE YOU TOO..? and After That her heart Stopped Beating… She Died..!

The Boy died 10 min's later from a Heart Attack..

He could not live with the thought that She died Because of Him..

-Moral:

If You Love Someone…;

Then Don’t Hold Back Your Feelings…

because Love is The Reason to Live..!

Love is Beautiful..